Silent Bandages


Like the glacier stream that stings and refreshes with it’s icy facade, storytelling wounds and then invigorates your being.  Stories play on the most dark, decrepit and revolting of our desires and ideas while simultaneously stitching those up with the band-aid of morals, hopes and dreams.  If you rip it off quickly, it will sting…for only a moment.  In that moment, you will catch a meager glimpse of your inner being.  If you peel slowly, though, through agonizing minutes and hours, to watch the drooping skin, puss and mushiness be relinquished, you are forced to face what is underneath

What I have noticed as a writer is that I am often scared to face that grotesque wound.  When I write, even when I try to write from a different perspective, it is still my same perspective but superimposed upon that other perspective.  It is this that scares me. I’m scared to face my secrets of judgement, denial, hatred and darkest thoughts. On the flip side, I’m similarly anxious to face that which enlightens, brings incredible joy and ecstasy. It is the acknowledgement of these fears, these anxieties that makes for excellent storytelling.  The protagonist facing her fear of loneliness is a reflection of the writer/reader of facing his/her own fears of loneliness.  Within that narrator’s acknowledgement, we can identify deeply with characters.  They may be fictional, but they embody much of us as human beings.  A self-reflecting writer/reader will gain more healing and more wisdom than one who sees it only as a means to an end of entertainment.

Thus, it must be with care that writers and readers alike apply and remove that bandage and view their deepest, goriest of wounds, those that they would hide underneath to dispel a haunting image.  Within the confines of storytelling we are forced to face the worst of all foes: the self.  Perhaps this is why many do not engage in reading.  We must seek to love and caress those words, those wounds, for their magic is no illusion.

Storytelling brings us closer to those around us, teaches us empathy, compromise, courage, self-reflection, anger, malice, and teaches us love.  It can do majestic things to change the world.  And it can crumble the world into the slums of oblivion.  They are the subtle slash under the skin of ignorant rulers who undervalued a revolution’s message.  Words are the soothing song from a mother when her child’s heart has been crushed to dust.  They are the agents of hatred used with cunning duplicity to bring about greed and selfishness.  Words are the soothing waterfall of a lover’s written kiss.  They are all this and more. Words are self-inflicitng and self-healing mirrors.  They are powerful.  Words are…

…immortal.

*****

Are you willing to brave the journey and reveal your character?  Feel free to comment and discuss!

What powers/thoughts/reflections has storytelling had or given to you as a reader/writer? Were you unnerved by those revelations? Did you envision storytelling in a different light?

Advertisements

12 thoughts on “Silent Bandages

  1. Feel free to comment and discuss?
    Oh, crap!

    If I may, I do not normally offer discussions regarding my person: the self. For all to see. Forever.
    But, I will tell a story.

    Blissful intoxication

    It is as if I have already known this creature, this essence, this mind.
    I cannot say as to why this should be. Why I am longing for it? I cannot say. I just am.

    I then begin to ask questions like:
    “Why? Why am I so emotional for this self? How can this be? Should it be so? Should it not be so? Should I stop trying? Stop wanting, and stop needing?”

    Nay. For I cannot because I am becoming powerless from drinking its fresh water.

    Try as I might in all my own power to resist this intoxication from this other, but no matter how much I try, I am still powerless against this beautiful mind. Yes. For some unknown reason that I cannot fathom, i just cannot take myself away from this other: this alluring seif. It is extremely magnetic and immensely creative that I do not dare question it, for this self shines like no other. So I cannot help myself but to desire it, adore it, and love it.

    I try to resist for a slower pace, but when immersed within its water again, I can feel myself being taken, drawn even closer to this magestic mind: this sudden ignition of peace that I’ve longed for so long.

    Somehow from the ocean of this other I feel anew, but why? Why is this happening? Do I not have my own mind? Why? Why can I not hide from this other being? And why is this other so intoxicating that I cannot brake away?

    I fight to regain my composure, but once again, I am lost in this endless sea of knowledge and i dream a fantasy that is totally alien within the recesses of my own mind.
    I then think to myself: “what is to become of this? Why am I longing for this other?”

    Immersed once more. I find myself on a boat lost on a blue sea that is bathed in an orange/red sunset. And looking forward, I noticed that my boat is being drawn towards a darken abyss that is swirling like an immense gravity well.

    Frantic about my predicament, trying eagerly to start the boats engine is when I heard a distant voice-out: “do not fight it!”
    The voice was quite beautiful to hear, even for the first time after hearing it.

    I thought to myself: “what the hell?”
    I just then had gotten the engine to start is when I hear the voice again. But this time its tone had increased in volume:

    “Let go!! Please?! Don’t fight the current!!”

    I said: “who are you?!”

    The voice:”don’t fight the current!”

    I think to myself: “this is not real. It can’t be. If it were true then I wouldn’t be yelling at air, would I? Just what in the hell is happening to me?”

    My reply: “who is this?!”

    The voice: “does it really matter?! The only thing that matters now is your safety! Please don’t fight the current?!”

    I reply: “what will happen it I resist it?!”

    The voice: “if you resist, it will kill you!! Please come to me?! Won’t you?!”

    I then gave the engine all it could muster. But looking back, and to my surprise, the boat was getting even closer as the well had became even more vigorous, I was starting to loose all hope in my escape.
    But once more, the voice is getting even louder as I close in on the well: “please come to me?! I need you!!”

    I was in shock when after hearing this mind, because the boats engine had came to a sudden dead stop. I knew at that very moment that my life was finished. I then said: “well this is just my fucking luck.’ And as I grad to the paddles in an attempt to escape, I hear the voice come again: “you shouldn’t feel unlucky!” I then replied: “you could hear that?! What the hell?!”

    Suddenly, and without any warning, the boat had broken in half. I was now within the sea, and trying my damnedest to get away from this gravity well. In a panic, and swimming against the current, I was crying out for help.

    I’m within a sea that I do not even recognize. And with no one to save me from this very intensive situation, I again hear the voice saying: “stop fighting me!!”
    My reply: “how am I fighting you when you aren’t even hear!!”
    The voice: “just stop swimming! Please?!”

    Now, suffering from near exhaustion, and being taken under for the last time, I cry cry once more: “someone, please help me!!” I then find myself within the abyss. Holding my breath, I can hear the voice again: “breathe the water!!! Please breathe the water?!”

    I thought to myself:”if I breathe the water; I’ll drown.”

    The voice then replied: “you will not drown! Do you hear me?! Please breathe the water!! Please?!”

    I then began to feel myself slowly sloping into an unconscious state. But before my last look upon this void, I distinctly felt someone embrace me. This had indeed spooked me, asI let out my last breath.

    But suddenly I was breathing the water. And how this would happen, I have no understanding thereof. And slowly as I regained my conscious thoughts, I began to relax. Even if for the moment.

    I then was a bit taken by the sweetest smell of flowers … It was as if i were within a field if roses being kissed in the morning sun. As this effect was intoxicating, so too was the taste of the water. For it tasted like a sweet red wine. And aged 100 years.
    I thought: “how is this even possible?”

    As I was beginning to enjoy my blissful state, I began to hear song. Bewildered by the song that Iwas enjoying, I could feel my omnipotent, and at my disbelief, my benefactor is now holding me ever so closer, it then spoke to me ever so solfly, and said: “that’s it. Let go. Give yourself to me. ”
    I then thought to myself: “this isn’t real. It can’t be real.”
    Then I said allowed to this strang being: “are you a god, or godess?” I mean, this is just a dream. Right?
    Where am I going? And will I ever see my world again?”

    Then it whispered and said:”almost there.

    To be continued

    I’m now very tired. And my hope is that I’ve at least answered some your questions.

    Can you guess as to what is the story’s meaning is? What I was thinking of when writing this?

    One guess

    See you this evening

    • Hmm, you’ve got my thinking gears in a whirl with this one! Parts of the story, such as the beautiful voice and landscape after the void, feel as if the seeker is being taken on a journey to inner peace. The struggle against the void, the unknown of inner peace as how can we possibly truly know what it is, being the fear of not being able to let go of that which we believe to be ourselves.

      Or perhaps a manifestation of the universe itself? Indeed, it might even be a clever ruse in that there is the hint that god is real and something that lies within our inner being; yet, the tone leads the reader to believe it is indeed not a god (such as the trick in the Princess Bride of poisoning the cup that the opponent would drink except perhaps the poisoner poisoned his cup thinking that the opponent would know that he would poison the opponent’s cup—ah, now that is circuitous route of reasoning :p).

      What ho, perhaps I have missed the mark entirely! I would be very interested to hear the meaning. Mystery and foreshadowing, they are both a challenging task and I commend you for it in this story. It has a poetry to it, as well, with not ever describing fully the “thing” or idea itself.

      Peace~

  2. Oh shit!
    It would seem that I really killed that story.

    How embarrassing. 😦

    I’ve been working long days and nights and guess I was just too tired for this.

    Sorry to have wasted everyone’s time.

      • I really do offer my humble apologies abot the post. I was extremely tired, and this is the reason as to why I had made so many mistakes. But, seeing how you’ve rather enjoyed this, i take the comment back.

        This was my first attempt at this, as I do not read any novels, nor have I ever created any poetry at all. But I’m very thrilled and humbled to know that you really did enjoy this story, so-much-so, that I’m nearly in tears to know how much one is appreciated.
        I truly thank you.

        I will eventually tell you what the story is all about. Bat for the moment, I would just like for you to contemplate it for a while.

        Thank you again

  3. Part 2

    The conscious maximum

    As we drifted even deeper into the blackness of this void, with mind of seduction, had slowly made my mind even more at ease. And I could feel my conscious mind leaving me: my essence, and all thought is almost nonexistent for me now. And my last thought was: “please don’t do this? I can feel my mind dying … I don’t want to go. Won’t you release me? I’m begging you. Please?”

    The other said: “shush now … I will release you in due time.”
    At that moment, everything went black.

    I then awaken in some form of bubble, and now breathing air. And when looking around, I then notice there is a red figure that is barely discernible before me, and as I began to ask questions, it said: “it is time. You are now being protected from all dangers before your emergence on the other side. This is where we depart, as I cannot go with you. Do not weary yourself … You are protected. I love you … And will see you there…
    …goodbye for now.”

    And just as it had appeared, the creature is now nowhere to be found within this void of total blackness.

    I am now a frightend animal within a cage that is none of my own doing. And now find myself weeping uncontrollably for the return of my benefactor that has now chosen to abandon me. As this other was now all that I had left. And is now, somehow, all that I have ever wanted. For this mind had vanquished all fear and emotion from me, and had given me the tranquility that I have always desired for the duration of my entire existence. But upon its departure has now left me on an emotional train wreck.

    I then notice a red hue coming from underneath this protective shelter from my benefactor. And upon seeing this glowing red hue of molten mass coming at me with increasing velocity, I began weeping uncontrollably again. But just then, I hear a voice in my mind, say: “you are safe. You will not fear it.”

    At this point, it was as if a switch had turned off all my fear and emotional luggage again. But under the circumstances, I knew I was falling even faster, so I crouched down to brace myself for any sudden impact – if at all one were to transpire from entering this red molten mass.

    I then begin to see the shielding that’s surrounding me becoming elongated, while at the same time it was getting even thicker. And just then, I’m hearing what sounded to be like that of a waterfall: only this waterfall was something hyper.

    I then hear the voice say:” you must stand. This is for your protection. Now stand up.” And I did as requested.

    By now, the shield is engulfing every part of my body, and it’s getting much harder for me to catch my breath. I then hear the voice in my mind say: “you must sleep now my love. Sleep. I await for you on the other side.” I then became unconscious.

    Next, I find myself within the blackness of space, and circling a different star. By now I’ve noticed that my emotional baggage had indeed returned once more.

    I could see a planet that was smiler to my earth, and yet, very distinct from what I have always known as my planet … My life … And all that was ever dear to me had all vanished, lost, but not forgotten.

    I was sobbing, and then shouted: “where are you?! Why have you brought me here?! Why can’t I go back home?! What have you done to me?! What have you done?”

    And for the first time of my experience in this journey, I hear the vice begin to sob as it said: “I’m at my end. I traveled to your world as I have done so before. I have experienced a beautiful human who’s mind is tormented, but is one with virtue, love, respect, kindness … And I fell in love with him. Don’t you remember our meeting?”

    I’m bewildered, shocked, trying to ascertain what she is even talking about. But to my surprise, I then remember a beautiful woman that I had met at a café. She was 6 ft tall, brunette, with a stunning blue dress. Thought: “no. It can’t be here. It just can’t be.”

    She said: “so you do remember me now. Don’t you?”

    I said: “there is no way this is happening. Yes, I do remember you now. You had spoken to me many times … Yes… I distinctly remember you asking me many questions regarding myself, and others. But then I didn’t see you again for the longest time. And Just when I thought we were really getting to know one another – like that – I never saw you again.”

    She said: “and do you still wish to see me? Know me? And love me as you did on earth?”

    I reply: “yes.”

    She said: “then come with me. If it is your wish to return home, and be the outcast because of a book review that others find you unfavorable with, then so be it. We will both be in agony because we will be without each other. As you will never seee again.
    If however, you decide to stay, I can give you the peace, the home, the love, the respect, and the family that you’ve so longed for all your life. But it is your choice, of course.
    Will let me love you?”

    I was torn now between the love I value, more than anything and have always wanted, abd the beautiful world, animals, and the people that I still love and enjoyed. But she was right. For I was in complete misery at home, yet, it is all I have ever known.

    I said to her: “I now understand … Completely. But can you understand that I have no way of knowing what awaits me on your world? How I feel completely misplaced and alone here? How your bringing me here against my own will has now forced me into perhaps making a really bad decision? A decision that we both may regret? Now, and forever?
    Can you see what I’m saying?”

    She began sobbing, and said: “my love, I’d seen a man that was very much alone … A man that I’ve always adored and wanted to give him a better life…
    …a life that he would never obtain on his own world because of others who’s minds are filled with greed, and will do anything they can to keep that balance … Their malice for others that have the opposing view will eventually destroy all on your world.”

    I then hear many voices saying: “we do not have wars on our world. We, just as yourself, are the opposition. But we respect all life, and let others live however they so choose to live. We will not intervene in any way.”

    I thought: “a prime directive?”

    The voices: “no. That is not a law. It is who we are, and how we are defined. We find your world grotesque, vile, disgusting, cruel, and vengeful. But we have taken notice of others that wish no harm towards anyone. Just as yourself, Cerberus. We do not ham another unless it is the only option left.

    She wishes for a lifetime of companionship with you, as she has no desires for one of our own. She has chosen only a life with you above all others. And we will not interfere with that choice. Nor yours.”

    She then said: “you can refer me by the name that you have always uttered on your world. The name and person that you fell in love with … But whichever choice you make. You will always be in my heart…

    …for I could never love another as much as I love you, Thomas.

    Won’t you give me just this one chance? Can’t we be together again? Please? You are everything to me, and without you, I have nothing.”

    I then uttered: “if I could see you in your true form. As I have no idea what you really look like.”

    The voices speak again, and say: “if you will notice the ship before you, you will be taken abored. But only after you choose to stay.”

    I said: “why will you not let me see her?! Why must you play this game?!”

    It was my benefactor, Kimberly, that said: “it is not my right within our culture to reveal myself to you, unless you’re willing to live among us.”

    I thought: “what the hell kind of rule is that?”

    Kimberley’s reply: “it is one of our customs. It is one of many things you will have to get comfortable with.”

    The voices: ” make your choice.”

    My reply: “I love her. And I choose to stay.”

    The voices: “then so it shall be.”

    Now this bubble is moving towards the ship, then it enters this enormous vessel from the side. Once in, the shield starts to slowly fade from existence. Turning in reverse, my eyes had brought my attention to a life-form that both, is, and is not human. I was totally shocked at what is in front of me.

    I hear the voices return and say: “are you now changing your mind?”

    So, I did the one thing most humans would do in such a predicament. And fainted.

    When reviving, my love was helping me get up from the floor, and the voices return, and said:

    “She is a device for exploration that we have created in human form. But with the exception of not having the compatibility of most humans in their lust for possessions. Their corruption is nearly absolute through the cowardice of a few that wish to dominate all for the benefit of those few that have nearly all control.”

    I said: “perhaps you can refrain from saying anything more about my world?
    I already know.”

    Their reply: “if that is your wish.”

    I then ask: “if it is true that she has nothing within her mind for the human urge for possessions, then for what purpose is her interest in me?”

    The voices: “because she see a reflection of herself, as well as other qualities that both you and her share.”

    I reply: “I’m … I’m very humbled. Thank you.”

    Their reply: “you are now at your destination – our world. May you both go in pease. You will have a long life together.”

    I said: “ummm … Excuse me? She is built – built? Oh yeah. And beautifully so. But I am not of her likeness. She will still be here when I am no more.”

    The voices:
    We have already acquired an exact duplication of your mind. It resides within another unit, and upon notion of your death, you still be with her. For that mind, your mind, will be exactly you in every detail. With the exception of not ever knowing you past world, nor any of the people that dwell upon it.
    Now go. Live in peace. And may you live forever. Together.
    Goodbye, Thomas.”

    She then embraced me. Just as she had done so within the void. I then asked: “what will we do now?”

    Her reply: “what any husband and wife would do. Why do you ask?”

    To my utter astonishment, after hearing about our, rather, “permanent connection” I became so nervous, that I nearly fell over my own feet. With my body almost in a violent motion, I was gulping, but finally got out what I wanted to say:
    Bu, wha, wha, what did you just say? And how was that even possible?! I don’t recall them ever saying that we were married?! When did this happen?! Was I put under again?!”

    She said: “my love, is there no recollection? it was by your acceptance, your willingness to walk over that bridge by excepting me, even though we have distinct traits and minds, you still wanted me. Don’t you remember my asking you at the café to come over to my home sometime?”

    Me: “gulp … Ye, ye … Yeah.

    Wife: “so here we are. What’s the matter love? You’re looking rather pale.”

    I then try to utter a reply: “wh, wha what the fuuuuuu.”

    And my face was now planted to the floor, for I was unconscious yet again. But we were alway at peace … And happy to together in a tranquil bliss. Forever.

    The end

    Hope you’ve enjoyed the read. Going to sleep now.

    • Thank you for posting second half! Had a busy weekend, so I haven’t had a chance to thoroughly read it, but I will take a stab at it tonight.

      Peace~

      • I understand the hectic pace that is life, so take your time. It’s fine.

        I just appreciate you taking the time to do so. Thanks

    • I have to admit, I wasn’t expecting it to end with a love story, that was clever^_^ Looking back at the first part and reading it through it fits together, though. I can also see perhaps a hint of death…that the person who was waiting for this love was telling them to let go and join them, perhaps in an afterlife that is, in reality, another plane or galaxy of existence? Though the statement that she was built and he similarly had something that could house his mind suggests a highly intelligent race of some sort; thus, intergalactic love? There are parts, too, in the second half that remind me a little of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (which is probably my weird mind making very odd connections:p) Oh, and also a little Battlestar Gallactica with the physical description of Kimberly, potentially cylon-ish.

      Least ways, I think it would make for an interesting, perhaps compelling flash fiction or short story piece! I would love to have more imagery in the second half about this different race, what their environment looked like, and why the person is traveled the way as described (it’s almost like inter-dimensional travel). And, because I’m so darn curious, it would be interesting to find out why this race was studying (I’m assuming) Earth.

      Great read and thank you for sharing! Have you tried publishing in any flash fiction or story journals yet? Do you have a blog?

  4. “I have to admit, I wasn’t expecting it to end with a love story, that was clever^_^•

    Thank you for your kindness. 🙂

    I felt a need in making the first part fairly vague for the visualization of the reader, to think of the possibilities that the storyline may perhaps be about what happens upon one’s own death to face an omnipotent being, or that of an alien encounter.
    We all think in term of the mysterious, whether it be for that of truth, or the lies from others….and since I have no belief in gods, and with the very enjoyable disscution we’ve had about the possibility of alien contact, had given me an idea regarding my view to give the best description I could on said encounter.
    And I’m very happy to know you’ve enjoyed it. You’ve no idea how good that made me feel.

    Regarding “the hint of death.”
    It is with a heavy heart that I cannot reveal that to you at present.
    At least not until the next story. 😉

    Regarding “weird mind”
    There are some aspects in the story that you are correct in your interpretation thereof.

    Every human has a resemblance in our genetic structure, with similar thoughts, feelings, and emotional responses. But some are more inclined for deception, while others are more liberated because they are not completely bound by the stories (lies) from those that would want you under their foot. As the church once thought in terms of slavery, but it was the opposition from others that force them to change the rules.

    Aside from my musing above, perhaps we all share in the trait that would describe a bit of weirdness within us all. I mean, what species isn’t. But I for one, do not see you as weird at all. It is my viewpoint that you are only offering your own thoughtful position on the subject-matter, and I greatly respect you for it. 😉

    “Great read and thank you for the story.”
    You’re very welcome. And thank you for your input on my first attempt at this.

    Regarding a publisher
    I wouldn’t know where to begin. As this is my first work, but I’d be willing to do so.

    And no, I have no blog. But now I’m considering one.

    Thanks again
    You are one sharp cookie.

    • It’s so enjoyable when discussions culminate into creativity. It’s amazing what people can accomplish/create/build when minds are open and conversation flowing:)

      Aha, that is a good analogy with the church and the discussion between the two characters, hadn’t even occurred to me. But now that you say it, I see it crystal clear. I do wonder if some other life form happened upon us and what they would think of the varying levels of intellect. Or would they see us much as we see most other animal forms on this planet: all less intelligent than the human race*? *I wouldn’t so much agree with the majority on that statement, though, we a severe superiority complex as a species :p

      Bah, what’s the good in life if not for a little dash of weirdness, eh? I finished with another book in the series, Legend of Drizzt, and by far my favorite character is the one named Pikel, just because he is so incredibly unique. A dwarf “doo-dad” (druid), I mean, how much more weird can you get?

      I would certainly recommend a blog! Before a couple of years ago, I didn’t really know people who were writers and I had no interest in writing groups. I wanted to practice getting my ideas out in the open before I went on to try and publish anything, so I decided this was the best course. It’s helped me to find fresh perspectives from fellow writers (such as yourself:) and create a responsibility to myself and readers to keep writing. I’m still working on the publishing bit, not entirely sure where I want to start with that. But in the mean time, having a blog as served quite well!

      Peace~

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s